Howdy all.
Things haven’t gotten much easier around here — when I’m not falling apart emotionally, I seem to be having to repair something that has fallen apart physically. Last week it was (just) a flat tire (two days after I had to put our beloved but annoying kitty Snorty down. That cat drove Tommy crazy; he had a standing offer of $50 to anyone who would take the cat away. I’ve been smiling — picturing Tommy trying to hide from Snorty in heaven as she stalks him awaiting her opportunity to hop in his lap.)
By midweek though, the tire was repaired, I’d gotten a handle on a couple other things … the sun was starting to break through the dark clouds of my life. And then, I ran into an acquaintance / friend. When I honestly answered how I was doing, their reply was: “you mean you’re still struggling? You’re such a strong woman — it has been three months — I thought you’d be over it by now.”
Yes, they really said that.
And no, I’m not yet over the death of the man I was married to for the majority of my life.
But, focusing on the blessings — a couple more good things have come from Tom’s passing.
Recently, my Dad (a fruit farmer) donated his leftover apples to Loaves & Fishes in Tom’s name. (Loaves & Fishes, a food bank, was one of Tom’s favorite charities.) In what felt amazingly good, my sister and I unloaded 50ish bags of leftover apples that were totally appreciated by them. That was cool.
Another one of Tom’s favorite things was this national movement / program called www.freecycle.org. Tommy was always freecycling things for which he had no use. (I’m surprised Snorty never made the list!)
A few weeks ago I learned how to post things on freecycle (super easy) and have since then given away several items for which Tommy (not I) had big plans. Cleaning out the garage and storage areas has often put me in an uncharitable mood, as I get angry that Tommy left all this stuff for me to handle (and that Tommy left, not that he had a choice.)
I posted about 200 plastic pots on freecycle; several people said they wanted them.
But, even though they were offered to numerous parties, circumstances must have changed. None of the interested parties ever showed up to collect them.
And then, after moving 200+ plastic pots in and out of the garage, and coming home early to meet with people who wanted them who never showed up, I was ready to put them in the trash recycle bin. That evening though, a woman emailed me again, asking if they were still available. I offered them to her and she came right over.
I asked her what she would do with them, not that I cared much at this point. (I just wanted them out of my garage. I was uncharitably tired of dealing with piles of dirty, spider-filled stuff that Tommy had left behind.)
Her answer? Her church raises vegetables for Loaves & Fishes and other area food banks, and these pots would enable them to start plants early.
It brought me to tears. Tommy would be so happy that his pots were going to a group that would use them to help one of his favorite charities.
Our loss is others’ gain ….
