Dear friends Dana and Kevin, who Tommy and I have known since college, called me up a few weeks ago.
“Up,” they said, “we’re coming to your place for the 4th of July weekend …”
I protested. While the Schoolcraft parade and fireworks are spectacular for a small village in SW Michigan, they’d be coming from Chicago … and I suspect things there are somewhat grander. Besides, my daughter’s wedding reception is in the backyard this Labor Day; I have work to do.
“We’re not coming for 4th of July festivities,” explained Dana, “we’re coming to help get your place ready for the upcoming nuptials. And besides, Kevin is sort of afraid of fireworks.”
The last part of that is somewhat understandable (rolls eyes) … I mean, I’ve heard of dogs who are afraid of fireworks anyway. The first part of that? Not so understandable! Friends do amazing, wonderful things for friends, but spending a SWELTERING holiday weekend in my garage? I didn’t even want to do that and it is my garage!
Nonetheless, setting a new standard for friendship sacrifice, Dana, Kevin and their two teenage boys showed up Saturday morning, before it got too hot (rolling eyes again. It was in the low 90s — both temperature and humidity level.)
We got to work. I was relegated to the kitchen to make blueberry buckle to keep us fueled (a bigger challenge than I thought — four were insufficient), while the woodpile consuming 5% of the future wedding reception space was waltzed to the other side of my yard.
Work continued on other things until the heat nearly took us down, and we then took down all the lunch meat … but we’d earned it.
In preparation for their visit, I’d not only purchased 45 pounds of salami and turkey (OK, maybe a slight exaggeration), but I’d made a honey-do list. This was at Kevin’s insistence, who said to think of me as a husband for the weekend. When I showed it to him after lunch he did what I’m used to a husband doing; he napped on the couch.
Upon awakening, Kevin really did play the role of the husband. I’ve always been a fairly modern, independent woman, but doggone it, there are things for which a man is needed … like putting up tackboards (a two-person job, and it helps when you’re male and are born knowing the distance between studs in the wall), and fixing the three leaking faucets that had foiled all my attempts thus far. (Kevin once apprenticed as a plumber.)
I was especially thrilled with this latter item, but not nearly as thrilled as Kevin was. He boasted about it to Dana, who sighed “if only he’d do that at home…”
“We” have two garages, one that is huge and cavernous where multiple boats / mowers / cars could reside, and a normal two-vehicle one. I say “we” because the huge one was Tom’s; I never really went into it. Now that he’s gone, it—and its four lawn mowers (only one works), its piles of miscellaneous hardware, its unidentifiable pieces of things and its hose parts collection (over 30, still in packages)–have become my albatross.
One of the greatest gifts Kevin gave me was sorting through the contents of “the corner” with me.
Kevin explained every man has a corner in his garage where he squirrels away things he may some day need — leftover siding, an extra railing or two, the broken rake. Tom’s “corner” had leaked throughout the garage and was threatening to overflow into the backyard. Kevin guided me as to what to keep, what to donate, and what to use in the wedding reception bonfire.
While Kevin was functioning as my husband for the weekend, it was not with full spouse privileges. The only other warm body in my bed each night was Melvin the cat, whose girth does overflow into the backyard. And, I couldn’t nag Kevin, even when he cut into the third blueberry buckle just before dinner.
We reached the end of the list (Dana and I built a brick garden wall!) about the same time we reached the end of the weekend, and loooooong after the ice-maker had fallen behind on production. We were all tired, but proud of what was accomplished.
I was especially grateful – for the manual labor yes, but mainly for the friendship. Dana and Kevin had known me and Tommy since before we were me and Tommy. And, this summer is proving to me fairly emotional as I reflect back on a year ago. The 4th of July ’09 was probably Tommy’s last good day. He attended a family reunion, bounced around socializing as he loved to do, and never really got out of bed much after that upon his return … and then a month later climbed into bed for the final time. Having Kevin and Dana around to reflect on those times, and better times, and to make new memories was awesome.
They claim to feel the same way, and Kevin suggested we have an annual work weekend. The good-natured, amenable Dana agreed … but wants to have it at their house next year. 
